Thorfinn needa get laid
by Hacked by Banana BOI
Summary: Thorfinn and an interest in women usually don't mix, but he may. He's just so tired of the rest teasing and making remarks about him being a gay.


Thorfinn had never really been all that interested in the activities the other members of his crew partook in with the women in the villages they raided. He had always been much more interested in getting whatever Askeladd had called on him for in exchange for his "reward". Sometimes it was bringing back the head of a commander or the weapon of a fairly strong warrior and many times, valuable items like god trinkets and what not. Thorfinn had normally always returned with these items in hand and gave them to Askeladd. None of these requests fazed him in the least and he carried them out most of the time without a problem. This blissful time of being able to carry out his orders without even questioning what he was doing soon came to an end when Askeladd asked for his latest item as they sailed up upon the shore of a rather fine village. It had an outer wall which made the inhabitants think they were somewhat safe. As the ship finally landed on the shore, Askeladd motioned for the boy to come to his side. "What kind of trinket do you want this time, you balding ass." Thorfinn asked with a menacing snarl placed on his face. "Are you itching for another chance to get your ass handed to ya?" Askeladd commented with a playful manner. Thorfinn only replied with a snarl. "Well, this time I want you to bring me back a woman. Make sure she's not old, nor a tiny bugger alike to you. Now I know this'll be a tall order for such a short whelp like yourself, but…" Askeladd then noticed he had been talking only to himself as he saw Thorfinn's backside as he walked away and towards the village. "What the hell does he need me to get a woman for. If he wants a dam woman he oughta go ashore and find one himself." Thorfinn mumbled to himself as he and the other crew members went ashore with their torches in hand, lighting the dark night. They headed towards the outer wall around the village with a battering ram in hand. Thorfinn stood aside as the men heaved and hoed, smashing it into the gate until it finally split and allowed them in. Thorfinn went straight for the homes, wanting to get this over and done with as quickly as one could. He burst into each home, faced with the horrified faces of women and children cowering on the ground in front of him. The second home he kicked down the door and entered, he was faced with a middle aged man, probably the man of the house and took him down with ease. A boy a little younger than him then lunged forth, trying to protect his mother and sisters most likely. Thorfinn didn't even flinch or look away from his real prize as he plunged his short sword into the boy's heart. The oldest woman and probably the mother, had her children against the wall with her body and arms stretching over them in a futile attempt to protect them. She then exclaimed, "Leave my family be, Savage Dane!" Thorfinn's eyes widened for a small second, for he understood her. She was speaking his language and suddenly he heard the rest of the villagers screaming. Their screams of terror were all in his language and he understood them. Thorfinn had never paid much attention to where Askeladd said they were going, so he naturally assumed they had landed in some village in England. It wasn't that he and the crew had never raided villages that spoke their language before, it was just that he had become so use to hearing the cries of the people in a different language that he didn't understand, nor wanted to. This didn't stop her from going towards the woman and her children, it just made him understand that these people actually wanted to live and were begging for their lives and the lives of their children. Thorfinn took the woman by her hair and yanked her up. She let out a cry and her children let out sorrowed whines and reached for their mother. Thorfinn then took the woman by her hair and started to walk out of the house when she began to struggle as they neared the door way. Thorfinn turned towards the struggling mother and said with a savage look in his eye, "If you don't stop struggling, I'll hand all of your daughters over to those men out there as presents." He then proceeded to move towards the doorway when he said under his breath, "They like 'em young." His voice was cold and the mother could sense his seriousness about his words. Tears streamed down her face as she followed him with little struggle given by her. Thorfinn heard the men yell at him and comment that he had finally begun actually act like a man and that there was no need to be shy, they could all share a woman. Thorfinn only turned to them and snarled in reply, like he usually did. He led the woman by her hair all the way back to Askeladd, who was standing in the middle of the village, witnessing all the mayhem that was ensuing. Thorfinn took the woman by the hair and slung her slightly to him, the mother landing on her knees. "What the hell is wrong with you boy. Didn't I tell you to bring me one that wasn't an old woman." Askeladd commented as he turned the woman to Thorfinn, Thorfinn now seeing the aged and wrinkled skin worn by the woman. Thorfinn then gave a bit of a growl at his need to repeat the action as he turned and went back towards the homes in the village. "That boy growls to such a degree, you'd think he was a dog." Askeladd said to himself as he watched Thorfinn walk away, still sulking a bit. Thorfinn repeated practically the very same action he had just done with the previous woman, but rather than go for the cornered mother, he took a young looking female child. He yanked the light haired girl up and away from her mother. The child cried out slightly and tried to escape Thorfinn's grip, but could not. Thorfinn then yanked the girl's hair harshly, hoping this would make it easier to bring her to Askeladd. It just ended with Thorfinn completely dragging her on the ground by her hair. The girl screamed out for her mother and father, her shrill voice making Thorfinn even angrier than he normally was. He yanked her harshly once again and then said, "Screaming won't do you any damn good, stupid." He then led her to Askeladd for inspection once again, and dropped her before his feet. "I really am not interested in your preferences when it comes to women, Thorfinn. I can understand such a young one like you wanting only a child for your taking, but for the purposes I want a women from this village, I would like a woman." Askeladd explained as he looked upon the face of the girl before him, who could be no more than 11. Thorfinn completed the process once again, but this time he made sure to choose one that would defiantly suit whatever "needs" Askeladd had for the woman in particular. He dragged a woman to Askeladd once again and placed her at his feet. "It looks like you finally used your head for once. Alright men, call it off and let's leave this place, we've gotten what we've come for!" Askeladd exclaimed so that all the men heard and knew to board the ship once again. "Did we really just come for one woman?" Thorfinn asked, with a slight undertone of anger hinted. "Well, the women here are rumored to be exceptionally beautiful, at least that's what our employer had been told when he paid us to come here and bring back a woman for him." Askeladd said as he gave a fake seeming smile. "All this work for one woman." Thorfinn sighed to himself. "Since you're so annoyed by this, how about you have the woman for this night and I'll even let you still let you get your ass kicked. The man's so stupid we could bring the corpse of a woman and we'd still be able to trick him into paying the full price." Askeladd chuckled to himself as he walked with girl's collar in hand and dragging her slightly towards the ship. "What do you think I am, old man. I'm not like any of you, I don't do this for the money or women." Thorfinn said with the same coldness he always had in his voice. "I use to be a alike to you in some way, not caring for women, status, or money. But to kill monsters of men, you must become one yourself. I'm sure you'll take an interest in all of these things once you give up your childish revenge."

"I'll never become like you, or anyone in this band of savages."

"You already are, you pot licker."


End file.
